Anywhere But Here

21:41, 27 June 2003

I haven't done a lick of work in two days. I just, basically, took yesterday and today off. It's been so beautiful here in LA, finally, after an entire June of overcast and mid-sixties. And lately it's been low-eighties and sparkling sunshine. I got a million errands done these past two days, driving between them blasting the Beach Boys. It struck me as amazing that here I am, (objectively) a hot blonde chick in a tight ride cruising down the streets of Southern California... I am the modern-day equivalent of the girls Brian Wilson is singing about. That made me smile. Think how many people want my life. I bet a life-swapping service would be very lucrative. I, Los Angeles-dwelling law student, would like to switch with London-dwelling student. Or Paris-dwelling. Or New York-dwelling. Or anywhere-but-here dwelling. Why is it that all I want is anywhere-but-here? I would still be me no matter where I went, and frankly, I don't think it is the locale that is the problem. I think it's me. And no matter where I go, there I am. Dammit.

Regardless, I enjoyed today. Why do I have to have a job? I did quite well filling today with productive activities like bringing things to the dry cleaners and putting gas in my car. I even went grocery shopping and to the gym. See what a banner day I had? I'm sorry, but I just can't lock myself in that horrid library when it is so nice outside. Besides, I really am waiting for that school to stop being such a minefield of memories. Honestly, there is not a corner I turn that doesn't run me smack into a memory of Piyush and I in our golden days. That's what you get for dating a guy at your school/workplace: pollution. The entire place is slimed with the oil our tanker spilled when it capsized.

(Side-note: How can one gin & diet Sprite have gotten me so drunk right now? Oh, yeah. I am the bartender.)

I'm waiting for Lee-Ann to call. We're going out tonight--who the fuck knows. I don't care. It's a plan, right? Everyone needs Friday night plans. I can't say that I haven't been hoping that Piyush calls to ask what I'm doing. I feel like everyone else has better things to do than write nonsense in a journal at 21:14 on a Friday night. I feel like everyone else is out to dinner, out with friends, out laughing and having a blast and somehow I've been completely forgotten. I feel like everyone thinks I'm out having fun too--sometimes putting up a front of "superpopular well-adjusted girl" can backfire, I suppose.

Tomorrow will be a better day. In the morning I'm going to Middle Ranch to meet the guys I might be riding for soon. Tasha wants me to ride five horses for her every Wednesday, regardless, so I know I'll have riding in my near future. Tomorrow I also get to hang out with Limes again. She's moving into her new apartment. I got her a housewarming gift and I just know she's going to love it. One of my most favourite things in the whole world is giving someone I like a gift that I know is perfect for him or her. No wonder it pissed me off so much when Piyush didn't even give a shit when I gave him his graduation gift. I was about to call him an asshole, but then I realised that doing so would only make it obvious that I haven't perfected my indifference towards him quite yet. God DAMN do I need a new victim to ply my psychological experiments upon.