Pathetic

18:36, 15 April 2003

Ohhhhh God. The ignominiousness of my life is truly embarassing. I did not go to the gym. I lay down on my couch and slept from about 14:30 until 17:30. Why? Because I didn't want to go to the gym and because I'm waiting by the phone for Piyush to call.

Yes, that's right, I'm officially waiting by the phone now. When I was sleeping I could have maybe played it off by saying that I "just happened" to be taking a nap. But now that I've showered and am re-clothed in the nice outfit I wore to school today (which was specifically selected for my scheduled lunch with him today), I guess there's no getting around the fact that I just called my cell phone with my house phone to make sure it was working. Oh, no, really: I just did that.

Regardless of whether he calls or not, I have extricated myself from the Lee-Ann situation by claiming to be exhausted and need more sleep. I told her if I feel better later I might come over. Which gives me something to do if he doesn't call and I'm left rejected and alone in my apartment.

I hate shit like this. He said he'd call me around 16:30 or 17:00. It's now past 18:00! Should I call him? This is really driving me totally insane, rendering me unable to concentrate on anything else.

Can I Get Some Syrup With This Waffle?

12:22, 15 April 2003

Piyush and I were supposed to have lunch today at school, but when I found out he was only coming to school to eat lunch with me (i.e. he had no classes today) I told him he didn't have to do that--we could hang out later.

Now it's decision time. I have several choices to make. First: should I go to Gender Discrimination class? Nothing she says will be tested, but it is an interesting class nonetheless. Second: should I go to the gym? I don't want to. I didn't go yesterday. Third: Piyush is calling me at 17:00ish. If he wants to hang out this evening, I'll have to choose between seeing him or going to Lee-Ann's to smoke and watch TV, which was my original evening plan.

I suppose it's not difficult to figure out the right choices, is it? Class, gym, Piyush. Especially since the class is interesting (I can always leave early if I'm bored). Especially since I didn't go to the gym yesterday. Especially since I smoked last night. Especially since I am backing away from my friendship with Lee-Ann.

Orrrrr... I could skip class, go home and take a nap, go to the gym and then go hang out with Piyush. God, the choices are killing me here. ---Fuck it. I'm going home.